Never promise what you can't fulfill

It is substantial and true that we need to form great mind and social skill by fulfilling the promise. Today, I learned that I'm still far away from it.

One man told me that "my word is my bond". It is not that easy, though. It is even harder to catch up what you've missed.

And I'm having a bad day for it. A man who can't keep his word sucks. I'm saying it right from the deep bottom of the heart.

Everything is a mess once the lie starts. Over and over to get a sorry. Now that's when the worst situation, being a pathetic.

Sent from my BlackBerry®
powered by Sinyal Kuat INDOSAT

And I Thought I Was Neglected

This afternoon, I was in quite a stressful situation. I was asked to make(have it printed,actually) a giant cheque for Monday morning ceremony. The request was made on Saturday. So, as our company used to, we contact our printing vendor to have it printed. After a day waiting the decision whether my vendor can do it for me or not, I found myself frustrated because of the tight time available before Monday morning @7am. Then I decided to print it on my own, with less quality.
I decided to print it in A3 size(approx. 40cmx30cm). I rushed myself to two main destinations,Hypermart and Gramedia Bookstore to check out two main items I needed: A3-sized paper and a few styrofoams. I found it even more frustrating on the streets because it is densely filled with vehicles, parking lots are occupied, foolish people taking inconsiderate parking spaces, foolish people not knowing whether they were currently taking the entrance way or the exit way, people blocking my way because they took their time while in the same time, I didn't have much time to spare. I checked out Hypermart n came to the idea of buying one pack of 500 A3-sized paper. Then I thought that I only need a few papers and the cashier line was full of people queueing. Sigh, I chose to gamble my decision to Gramedia. I checked out Gramedia, -darn- the 500 A3-sized paper pack was out. Now, I tried myself to see at least I can get the styrofoam that I can't get at HyperMart. I roamed myself to find -VoiLa!- a couple of styrofoam in 40cm x 60cm size. Now, I don't know whether it fits in my A3 paper. So, I decided to asked for its exact size to its store clerk. Unable to ask to store clerk for stationery, I asked another clerk nearby.

This is the point when I thought I was neglected. The clerk were merely showing me an A3-sized drawing book for kids and went to her station, withouting telling me what the exact size of A3 is. Darn! That is when I see that the papers in the drawing book can be torn off neatly. Aha! I found it! I don't need a 500-pack because I needed only a few. So I take the styrofoams and the drawing book. Back at the office, I quickly printed the giant cheque on the A3-sized paper torn off from the drawing book.

Just then, I thought the clerk neglected my request. But, because of her, I found the solution. We may not know how our solution pop-up around us. Just like what I had.

And I thought I was neglected.........
Sent from my BlackBerry®
powered by Sinyal Kuat INDOSAT

Afraid of being Old

Today, my grandfather was rushed into ICU at around 3AM this morning. His condition was reaching critical level. And it hasn't been better up until afternoon. And at 4pm, we were rushed to get B-type blood to supply him. We were told to gather as many family member as we can to prepare for his last day(s). I rushed myself to the hospital to prepare for the blood supply, and now, here we are, waiting around ICU to wait for the latest info of granddad's condition. And prepare for the bad news.

It has been a few days that he has been hospitalized because he hadn't been very well at house. He hardly eat a lot, drink less than 200ml per day. It seems that he had trouble drinking or eating. I don't know whether it is because something caught up in his throat or it is that he was merely unspirited to take the nutrition we gave. All he does was sleeping for most of his days. It is his second time being hospitalized in this month. A few months ago, I still remember him able to move from bedroom to the terrace to see the surrounding and inhaling air. But this month, he can only lie down in his bed and rarely go to the bathroom to pee or poop until eventually obliged to wear diapers to prevent him unable to reach bathroom in time. I watch him drinking from glass, to drinking from a bottle of mineral water using straw until he can only drink if we spoon him bit by bit until a maximum three tiny spoons of water.

I haven't seen him in full health monitoring equipment as people say for those who has been treated in ICU. But I guess something like that is not the state I want to live in my old days.

I have two things in mind: 1, being pictured the state of old and rusty human, 2, that I'm going to lose the last granddad I have in a matter of hour.

Seeing my old granddad bring me the picture of who I will be in 50-60 years; thin, bald, running out of teeth, lack of vision, lack of hearing, incapable of chewing or even drinking. I wonder if these are the picture of someone who thinks about too many things in his mind while lacking the time to speak of it or solve his problems. He is a kind of person that doesn't like boasting or grumbling or yelling at other people that he has problems or that to the people he thinks he has a problem with. He likes it to keep everything in his mind only, speaking things that never solve his problems, saying the same thing such that it seems unsolvable. Those things keep lingering his mind for a long time. He is a type of person that finds it hard for himself to tell someone when he is wrong,or even say things he doesn't like to the person himself. He keeps it in his bottom of his heart only. Now, I can only see that whenever he has thoughts that troubles him, he got sick. And when he can't stop thinking it, he got hospitalized for his blood sugar level rising drastically, though he keeps his sugar diet.

Now, by the time I finish this writing,after two days of writing delays, I am 30minutes past his death. May he rests in peace, being released from painful and suffocating life, being freed from painful thoughts. And may this death moves us on forward.

We miss you, granddad.

Sent from my BlackBerry®
powered by Sinyal Kuat INDOSAT

Upload Speed Assumption That Breaks My Heart

I recently read Digital Photo Pro ed November 2011. It was late in the night, so I just skip pages until I reached an atricle, "Is Cloud Storage For You?". Yes, Cloud computing has been a trend in discussion, inside or outside Indonesia. So, I read those tiny font size quite carefully. It stated that professional photography can utilize this service to backup and access their pictures everywhere in the world as long as they are connected to the Internet. It helps a lot because there are more and more company offering this service and we can store our pictures without having to bring our external hard drives along with us everyday.

But it doesn't mean that this cloud storage has no disadvantage. It will surely take some time to upload our picture collection into their server. Yes, pictures taken by professional photographers are huge in size, around 8Mb/picture. And they assume that if the upload rate of around 2Mb/s, they will count that it will take 4s to upload a single picture. You can do the math suppose that we need to upload 1Terabyte of picture. This statement that breaks my heart.

You see, in Indonesia, it is practically impossible to find retail Internet connection users who can enjoy such high upload rate. The highest rate offered by one of the biggest operator here is only of around 1Mb/s for download speed, not upload speed. It is known that upload speed is usually slower than download speed, so we can conclude that the upload speed is less than 1Mb/s. Normally, it usually takes me half an hour(if lucky) to download a 50mb file. I can't imagine, how long it will take me to upload such huge(relatively, uploading a 50Mb file is a huge file for me) file to the Internet. *sigh...

So, it breaks my heart by their statement stating that 4s is a long time to upload a 8Mb picture. Well, in here, I can take a cup of coffee and a couple slip of it if I were to upload such huge file to the Internet using the available Internet connection for retail users in Indonesia. I guess I have to wait a few billion seconds to have a hi-speed internet connection here. Or, should I just go abroad to enjoy it? That would be an expensive bypass alternative..:p

What do you say?
Sent from my BlackBerry®
powered by Sinyal Kuat INDOSAT

How Fast Do We Turn Our Face Away After Shaking Hands

Today is friday. As a moslem, it is obligatory to attend what we call as Sholat Jumat. It is a weekly noon prayer conducted every Friday(Jum'ah). In the end of the prayer, we usually shake hands with persons, at least the one on our left and our right, whether we know him or not. I believe that shaking hands are obligatory as well, which enforce us to see someone next to you as a brother, whether you know him or not.

But what I see today, that people give different expression in each people shakes. The one on my left side gave me a smile while shaking my hand, but the on my right side turn his plain face away just a few second away from releasing my handshake. I felt happy from the smile given from the man on my left, but from a man from my right, I felt just the contrary.

I realized now that a little smile can bring different feeling towards people. I realized as well that we often give smile to important people handshakes. Whether it is important for career, love, or even a matter of respecting the authorities. And the smile must be presented sincerely, without hesitation and unwillingness.

I admit that we often give smile, even a fake and excessive smile to those honoured people handshakes, but then we give less smile while seeing our own family. So I believe that we should give smile everytime we shake everybody's hand.

Now, do we smile everytime we shake our hand? I'm waiting for a 'yes' answer.:D
Sent from my BlackBerry®
powered by Sinyal Kuat INDOSAT